Likes: Younger women
Dislikes: Older women
Victim Eligible: No
Sentence: 3 years
I was at the grocery store
He approached me
He stated: Your height?
I said: 5’3
He stated: Your age?
I said: 30
He stated: Your status?
I said: Single
He asked: Dinner tomorrow night uptown?
I said: Sure…why not.
We exchanged phone numbers
Talked the entire night and morning
I met him at the restaurant
I’m not a fool he could be crazy
He was waiting in the parking deck
It was too cute he saved me a space
As I went to pay for parking
He quickly stopped me and paid
I noticed a little connection as we walked to the restaurant
Our hands just happened to intertwine with each other
As the conversation flowed I was in heaven
Hell I even exhaled J
We started the night off with appetizers & cocktails
Talked about life overall
While the live Jazz band played melodies
We danced the night away
We laughed, told jokes, and eventually played shot games
Dinner is served
We’re responsible adults
Eat and drink water J before operating a vehicle
He stated: Would you like to get coffee after?
I said: Sure I’m having a great time!
The waitress gives the tab to him
He looks at the total with no face expression
Reaches to his back pocket
Then the other pocket
Then his jacket pockets
Then his jeans pockets
Looked up and said I forgot my wallet at HOME!
I’m sorry this never happens to me
If you could pay I would appreciate it
I said: Okay, no problem.
The waitress came over and I paid for my bill.
The waitress came back to the table with my receipt
Told him the remaining balance
He stated: I thought you got me on the bill.
I said: The thing about thoughts
They will get you fucked up in the game
Initially I was going to pay it
But my thoughts begin to process
He stated: What you mean sweetie?
You paid for parking and had your wallet
It’s in your right jean back pocket
You gave your license to the bar tender
Opened a tab AND now you left your wallet at HOME!
Have yourself a good night!
He stated: Wait! My bad…I'm on a budget!
Pays the waitress and leaves!