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Thursday, December 22, 2011

Simple B!tches: Top 20

You Simple B!tches get on my nerves. Here's a hint get some class & then maybe someone will won't your ass. Due to the epidemic I've started an organization to help y'all Simple B!tches. The organization first objective is for you to recognize that YOU'RE a Simple B!TCH. The second objective is to revamp your piss poor qualities, and the third objective is to provide you with psychiatric help in the form of weekly meetings with a therapist preventing you to not relapse. You can't define a Simple Bi!tch with one word thus I'll use examples. In order for you to qualify for membership you must meet one of the following:

Friday, December 16, 2011

The American Pie

Men I know how much you love that American Pie
Ladies I know how much you love to provide men with it
However some ladies have shared entirely too much pie
Which leaves Mz-AM to address the issue
Ladies pie is that dessert you serve
On holidays, special occasions, anniversaries, spontaneously,  or when you feel freaky
To put a smile on the face of a spouse, husband, baby daddy, boyfriend, or boo
Because you know how much he deserves or need it

Sunday, December 11, 2011

"I DO"

I Mz-AM take you
_____ ______ to be my husband
My partner in life
My one true love
You are God's greatest gift to me
My hope, my joy, my everlasting blessing
I will value our friendship, marriage, and love
Every second, minute, and hour
Everyday, tomorrow, and forever
I will honor and trust you beyond belief
I will laugh, cry, fight, and pray with you
I will love you faithfully despite
The good, bad, and ugly
No matter the obstacle I will be there

Saturday, December 3, 2011

Attention Whore (Application)

Hello my name is _____ _____! (If applies, please fill in YOUR name in the blanks)
Yes I'm an attention whore
For those of you that do not understand
Please let me define
"Attention Whore" 
Attention whores are persons (like me)
Who crave attention to such extent
That they will do anything
YES ANYTHING to receive it
The type of attention
Negative or Positive does not matter
See I'm that type of chick that's beautiful on the outside
And clearly fucked up on the inside