Subscribe Here!

Search This Blog

Thursday, November 3, 2011

I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes!

This is the realist shit
I could EVER write about you
Excluding your obituary
I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes
I can agree its been fucked up since the start
On both parts
I mean you were born into this world
With no chance of the American Dream
Lets keep it real
Your soul was traded for a monthly check
Your flesh was traded for deliberate wrecks 
Your voice was traded for dollars that made NO SENSE
Your self-esteem was traded a coke, sniff, and smile
Your confidence was traded for a fake ass marriage plus three kids
Your innocents was traded for unpleasant sex & family secret bids
I promise I love you but I cant stand you Sometimes
The last time I spoke to you
You called
The conversation went from opening up
To straight battle mode
Its a damn shame I can not ask simple questions
As
Who is my father?
What was he like?
Where can I find him?
Without constant screaming
Belittling
Verbal assault that would damn give me a heart attack
Because I couldn't understand nor accept the words I heard
More importantly the emotional detachment
Its depressing how easy you can defend a rapist
Use worthless catch phrases
Such as
He didn't do that to you
I don't know why your panties were below your knees
Bitch please
Yes I said B-I-T-C-H
Because this is some bitch ass shit
I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes
You end the conversation with excuses and more screaming
Let's NOT forget the typical hang-up
And...
The typical FUCK you
Don't call me
You aint shit
I don't need you in my life
Text messages
Followed by yet another call
However this time
I was left with the notorious voicemail
How nice of you before hanging up Again
You said
"Now right A poem About That"
Thank YOU
Here I go
What type of woman
Settle for a piece of dick that like little girl clits
Cover it up
Beat the hell out of your seed
Make her fear to breed
Because the lack of your parenting
Was lead by your selfish needs
Lets be clear
Life is a choice
You sold your motherhood
For nights in a jail cell
Chasing men that would support your next fix
Implementing self inflicted tricks
You sacrificed three beautiful children's future for guaranteed conflict
I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes
A real Queen would NOT continue to run from her problems
She would first learn how to let go and love thee self
Pray and repent to god
Apologize to those she hurt
Make good and live with a peace of mind
I forgave you a long time ago
Because I understand I'm a product of your mothers parenting
Its impossible for a child to raise children
However children become adults and regardless of your past situation
You as a mother had obligations
You choose the journey of rock bottom
Destroying everything in sight
In fact here is the truth
You're jealous because I decided to be the women
You wanted to be
The more I succeed
The more you drag me thorough emotional greed
Continue to bring me down to your level of unhappiness
Darkness and Loneliness
Instead you should thank god
You have children that praise your name
Despite all the negative things
Make you feel like the best mother ever
Love you unconditionally
Ready to demolish anyone that speak bad about you
Encourage you
Support you
Love you
Never pointed a finger of cause
Just request understanding
I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes
I will not let your negative behavior influence my life anymore
I pray that God bless you in everyway he can
I pray that one day you will forgive yourself
Then in turn ask for forgiveness
Until then
I'm done
Its in God hands
I Love You but I Can't Stand You Sometimes
Thanks for your permission

Copyright 2011 





















3 comments:

  1. Good for you Ciera. Write it out and let it go...

    ReplyDelete
  2. that was some real jaw dropping lines...thanks for sharing your story!!

    However children become adults and regardless of your past situation
    You as a mother had obligations

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for the support!