_____ ______ to be my husband
My partner in life
My one true love
You are God's greatest gift to me
My hope, my joy, my everlasting blessing
I will value our friendship, marriage, and love
Every second, minute, and hour
Everyday, tomorrow, and forever
I will honor and trust you beyond belief
I will laugh, cry, fight, and pray with you
I will love you faithfully despite
The good, bad, and ugly
As I give you ring to hand
I also give you heart to life
You are everything I requested from God
He delivered you to me
And for the I worship you
With my entire mind, body, and soul
I vow to always put you first in my life
To always comfort you in your sorrows
To rejoice with you in your victories
I truly thank god he allowed our hearts
And every being in our body to become one
On this day as we unite as husband and wife
However "I DO" have stipulations
2012 Wedding Vows Stipulations:
- If you cheat on me I will murder you in your sleep.
- If you try to leave me due to your own selfish needs, I will grant you divorce papers and take every dime you bleed. How is that for greed?
- If we have children and you decide not to be a parent. No worries, I will work three jobs if need be to guarantee our seeds a successful future. Meanwhile I'll leave your ass for ransom.
- If you attempt to put your hands on me, that's my permission to sign your death certificate immediately.
- If you decide to change your sexuality, please be a MAN and be honest with me. I'll still hold you down but separately.
- If you become unhappy, lets agree to work on each other first before giving up on our destiny. Then in turn work on our marriage to be husband and wife as we were meant to be.
- If you decide to become any of the following, I will serve you divorce papers instantly without alimony:
A drug dealer
A drug addict
A child molester
A gambler (Addicted)
A serial killer
- If you desire a prenuptial agreement, please don't marry me. My love is priceless crown certified.
- If you can not support me emotionally, physically, sexually, mentally, and spiritually. You don't deserve a women like me. I will support you regardless of the need, day of the week, and regardless what others may think of me.
SN: Marriage is not what it use to be, before you say "I DO" please be ready!
***** Signatures Required From Both Parties *****